Oh, New Mexico!

In my last post I said we were moving, but I didn't say where.  Or how we were going to get there.  Well it's time to share the news.  We're going to Albuquerque, New Mexico!  

Shocking, no? 

Wait - it gets better!  I had mentioned that we were going to be like the Joads in  "The Grapes of Wrath", moving west with all our things heaped up on our vehicle, looking for work and a better life.  Well, we're following the Joads quite literally.   We bought an old RV, a 33 foot Holiday Rambler that has good working parts and a pretty interior, and we're going to live in it for awhile!  We are in the process of packing up, selling, and giving away much of our stuff, and we're planning to leave PA in just a few weeks.  It's a kooky idea, but it is going to work!  This will enable us to get back on our feet and be productive again!  


When my husband first suggested this to me, I laughed.  Actually I laughed the first 3 times he said it.  Then I got nervous that he wasn't kidding, and then I got angry.  "We are NOT living in an RV!  I'm not going to talk about this seriously with you!"  I shouted at him.  Still, he persisted.  He presented an interesting idea, and gradually I started to listen.  Then I actually started to come around, to think that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.  


We're losing our house.  We're too far behind in the mortgage payments, and we still don't have real jobs.  I've been working for 2 years as a substitute teacher in 3 different school districts, and the work is not steady.  J. continued to look for work after the car dealership where he was working closed down, but he had no luck.  He applied for jobs big and small, and didn't get any of them.  We could continue to stay here and drown slowly as we've been doing, or we could do something more drastic.   


Once I jumped on board, things moved quickly.  J. mentioned our idea to a friend who's brother-in-law happened to be selling an old RV.  The only problem was that he lives in Florida.  We had been watching various ebay auctions of older RVs, and realized that we would probably have to travel far to find one in our meager price range.  Why not talk to this guy and see what he was offering?  So J. traveled to FL, saw the RV which is named "Old Gal", and fell in love.  A very reasonable deal was struck, and J. found himself driving a Class A motor home from South Florida to PA.  He had to stop a number of times to get a few things fixed - Old Gal hadn't been on the road in a few years, and needed some TLC.   Finally he made it to South Carolina and we were chatting on the phone, when I suddenly realized he was driving right into one of the largest snow storms the east coast had ever seen!   


"Um, honey?  Have you looked at the weather forecast by any chance?"
"No, what's up?"
"Well, basically, there's a giant snow storm coming tomorrow that's  supposed to cover the entire area from Virginia to Pennsylvania, and it's going to be bad."


I won't share the epithets that came after that. 


He found himself a campground in North Carolina and laid low for a few days.  When he finally made it home a full two weeks after he left, I took one look at that giant behemoth in my yard and knew that my life had irrevocably changed.

No Fat Waittresses!

I understand why restaurants wouldn't want to hire waitresses who are, well, fat. I could say plus-sized, or zaftig, or Reubenesque, or one of those other euphemisms, but we know what we're talking about here. Fat is fat. They don't want to hire fat people because a) They don't want you to be thinking about what you could look like if you eat/order a bunch of their food, and b) They don't want you knocking over people's plates with your big butt.

But what if you just need a job and you happen to be, well, zaftig? It's not like half the population can't relate! A good many of the people eating out are obese themselves, so what does it matter? We're all friends, right? Apparently not. In case you haven't guessed, I'm pretty large myself, and have been applying for waittressing jobs. I was hired at one place, and worked for 2 days and did a great job, I thought! The customers liked me, and I made about $50 in tips! But then the owner seemed to have a change of heart, and didn't want me to come back... hmmm. Since then I've been applying to everything I can find, but no bites. They sound interested on the phone, but when they meet me, there's some obvious disappointment. I'm not ugly, I don't think, but the extra weight makes people look right through me. It's not like I didn't know that we live in a very visual, thin-obsessed society. But I keep hoping that someone will look past the fat girl and just see the girl who just wants to work hard and make some money.

To be fair, I only have teaching jobs on my resume, and the other aspect of this is that I think some places see me as overqualified, and even if I tell them I want to work part-time during the school year (which is true), they seem to think I will leave when school starts. But if they were interested over the phone, when I show up, I see the disappointment in their eyes and I leave feeling incredibly foolish.

So the obvious question is, "Well why don't you just lose weight?" Yeah. I know. But when you've got no money to go out, and you're worried about how you're going to make the next mortgage payment or any payment for that matter, and you like to eat, food becomes one of your few comforts. I feel like I've had to give up most other things, and I'm not going to give up food. But maybe enough's enough. I wish I were more accepted for what I look like now, but it's not like I'm happy being overweight. So maybe I can find some other comforts to keep me going. Like exercise! In the meantime, the search for a job continues.