Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Moving Sale, Part 2

Who would have thought people would come out in the rain???  Not me!  But some did, and they bought some good stuff, and all in all it was a successful sale!  However, we have so many things that we are going to do it again next weekend.  It's hard to try and sell everything in your house in 2 days!  We sold some things at crazy low prices but it's found $ and people have new stuff that they like.  I'm a big fan of "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle", so I feel like we're not being wasteful even if we're practically giving things away. 

This week we're packing up the RV with all of our stuff, which we've been trying to do but haven't been able to get to yet.  Although I've been looking at and analyzing the storage space in "Ol' Gal" for a few months now, I still have no idea how well our things will fit.  We are packing a few boxes with things like Grandma's china for shipping later, but most of our stuff is now or never!  My job for today is to pack the RV.  At least it stopped pouring!  2 days of intense rain and many big muddy puddles in the front of the house will make it messy but still feasible.


One big note:  J.  was showing some family members the RV on Saturday and when he opened the refrigerator door, he got a blast of ammonia.  I looked it up online, and it probably means that somehow in the past few days the cooling mechanism broke.  Big money to fix - but Ol' Gal is 23 years old, so you have to expect some things are going to stop working even though she's been pampered over the years by her first owner!  J. is handling that, as he does all things technical/mechanical.  I get to pack our clothes and make her look pretty!  Fine with me as long as it gets fixed!  We are planning on leaving within the next week or so, so hopefully we can get it done by then! 


Oh, one last thing.  We sold the Civic!  I had a '95 Civic that I drove forever and loved dearly, but it's time to part with it after 202,000 miles.  We sold it to a kid down the street who's gonna put a lot of love into it and who's very excited to have it.  Makes me happy to know my baby is going to have a nice new home, but I'll miss that car!  


That's all for now.  We are SO exhausted and have so much work left to do that I'll keep updating but it'll be short and sweet.  Sorry in advance for any grammatical or syntactical errors!  My editor is tired, too!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Moving Sale, Part !

The moving sale Day 1 went pretty great!!!!!!  We are exhausted both mentally and physically but we have another day to go.  However, it's pouring out this morning, and has been raining all night, so I'm not sure how this will go, but it's all okay!  

This is a HUGE step in being able to take off!  By the way, after all my angst about giving away/selling all my stuff, I have to say it's liberating!  It's really been fun and people seem so happy about the things they're getting!  

I feel like this is really happening - we're outta here really really soon!   Yay!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Stuff, Stuff, Stuff

Do you know how much stuff you actually have???

I do.  I can quantify it by saying I have way too much stuff.  Since college, I've moved a total of 13 times.  THIRTEEN times!  And I've never even been a part of the military - or been transferred for a job!!!  I've carted my stuff around from apartment to apartment.  I moved home twice.  I went from New Jersey to Atlanta and back again in less than a year.  I even moved to the townhouse next door to the one I was living in because my roommate was impossible and mean to my dog!  Each and every time I move, I spend days and days packing up the same picture frames, the fun, eclectic tchochkes, and the books.  Oh, the books!  I love my books like cherished friends, and I feel all warm and fuzzy each time they reemerge from their boxes.  I've filled up giant trucks and enlisted armies of friends, and every time, every time, people say to me, "Is all this stuff yours?  Man, you've got a lot of stuff!"  

How did I get all this stuff, and why have I made my life miserable by dragging it from place to place all these years?  It's as if it just snuck in through an unlocked window one day and stayed very still until I decided it had always belonged to me.  

Okay, okay, I know my stuff didn't sneak in a window.  I know how I got a lot of it -  I engaged in what we now call "retail therapy"  I convinced myself I needed the Hawaiian print sneakers and the purple patent leather loafers because one can never have enough pairs of cute shoes!  Many things are gifts, and giving away gifts would be akin to turning my back on those friends who gave them to me.  And as for the books?  I...just...LOVE...books!!!  I have art books and great literature and trashy mysteries and fine kiddie lit (I am a teacher after all) and a book of MASH trivia and a collection of gardening how-tos and even a handwriting analysis book!   I keep giving away books, and yet I get them as gifts (my favorite kind of gift!) or I find something I need, reallyreallyreally NEED, like the book I bought a few months ago about how to get rid of all your clutter.  It was somewhat helpful, but is currently cluttering the space on one of my many bookshelves.  


We all do this - buy more than we need, shop sometimes for fun or to cheer ourselves up, get something fun just for the heck of it - and before we know it, our spaces are full and our things are a burden instead of a joy.


I realize that it is not exactly news that we Americans are a consumer culture and we buy stuff simply because we can.  But what happens to your sense of self when you have to sell or give away almost all of your things, as we are doing now?  I'll tell you how I felt when I realized that was just what I had to do - I was terrified.  It was unthinkable really.  I have collected things I love and things I like over the years with hard-earned money, and my things make me happy.   I used to say that they reminded me of who I am.  But this experience of having to liquidate our lives has made me stop and reevaluate that thought.  Am I my things?  Do my things make me who I am?  Why am I constantly looking outside of myself to find ways to bring me pleasure?  Will amassing enough books lead me to nirvana?  And will letting it all go make me lose an essential part of myself?  


I've talked here before about being poor and not being able to buy new things, and how difficult that was sometimes.  But the truth is, I still had plenty of stuff, so it wasn't all that hard once I got used to it.  Now, however, J. and I have to get rid of most of what we've been carting around all these years too.  Lest you think that I am the only pack rat in my little family, you should know that J. has a great love of tools.  Mechanics tools, building tools, finesse tools, this boy has them all, and uses them on a regular basis.  He prides himself on his fine collection, having hand-picked each one.  Two days ago, he sold his complete set of mechanics tools to his nephew for a fraction of its value.  When the set was gone, he was a bit emotional.  He had dreamed of opening his own auto shop when he was a teenager, and even though he chose not to pursue that dream, letting go of his tools meant letting go of his dream.   Heavy stuff!  

J. and I are having our big Moving Sale in one day, and we hope to empty out a good portion of the things in our house.  Hopefully we'll be left with very little furniture, a small set of dishes and cookware, and yes, a few tools and books.  Intellectually I know that losing the things I've held onto and treasured for so long is the only thing for me to do, but it terrifies me because I feel like I'll be exposed, like I won't have all that stuff to hide behind or protect myself with.  But in truth, having things hasn't led me to happiness, and of course I know that my things are not me.  One of the best years of my life was the one I spent in Israel, when all I had were two small suitcases.  I had the barest of wardrobes, but clothes mattered so little when every day was full of new and thrilling experiences.  That is what I wish for J. and I.  We have new dreams to seek, and thrilling experiences to find.  We'll be living in close quarters in an RV, and we won't have room for a lot of stuff, but we'll be in a new, beautiful place, meeting new people and doing new jobs.  Why would I want to hide behind a mountain of books?  

Plus, we're bringing our bikes and our kayaks with us.  Those aren't going anywhere!  We'll need them to explore New Mexico!  I picture us kayaking down the Rio Grande River (in a section with mild rapids) and I know that in that moment I'm not going to be missing my purple patent leather loafers.  

And at least I can breathe a sigh of relief that, for now, I won't be featured on "Hoarders"!  


Wish us luck for the Sale - it'll be hard if a lot of people come and buy up all our things, and it'll be hard if no one comes and our beautiful things could be thrown away.  I'll just keep telling myself that life is not about things, and I don't need to hide.  Then we can get busy living, and when we do move into a place of our own, no one is going to say, "Wow, you have SO much stuff!"


By the way - does anyone want a size 10 pair of purple loafers? 

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Ready, Set . . . Ouch!

There I was convalescing from my surgery, almost completely betterA week - shmeek!  It took the better part of 12 days to get better, not a week as my doctor suggested.   But at the end of those 12 days I was feeling pretty great and ready to start packing the RV.  We've got to be getting on the road already!   I spent the evening hanging out with my oldest friend D., and we were laughing and being silly as usual.  I went to sit back on her couch pillows when I felt a little 'pop'!  in my back.  It didn't hurt much until I got up to go home.  My back was spasming!  Yikes!

A feeling of dread washed over me, but as I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, I figured I shouldn't get too excited.  I've had back spasms before - a little rest and I'll be fine in the morning.


I woke up at about 3am and had to go to the bathroom.  When I went to get up, I had forgotten about my back issues and couldn't move.  What the heck?  'No, uh-uh, this is not happening; I'm just really groggy and tried to get up the wrong way', I told myself.  The next 5 minutes or so were a blur of grunts, groans, and blankets flying as I tried to get both feet on the floor.  I imagine I  looked something like a giant tuna that's just been caught and thrown on deck:  I flopped this way and that, trying in vain to get myself overboard.  I tried facing up, facing down, and some twisty-sideways moves that would have made Elaine from Seinfeld  proud.  It was pathetic, really, but somehow I made it to vertical, swearing like a drunken sailor all the way.  

My sweet husband J., who is the lightest sleeper I know and who wakes up when the dog snores, remained blissfully asleep throughout the whole endeavor.  He never gets enough sleep, so I could hardly get angry at him, but oh, I wanted to...

 I stumbled to the bathroom, and spent the rest of the night in a chair in the living room.   This was last Saturday night, and today is Friday.  For 6 days I've been a slave to my aching back, and I'm only now beginning to get better.  Normally this would just be an annoyance and a short break in my routine, but, um,    WE'RE ON A DEADLINE HERE!!!  

Unfortunately, we're late as usual.  Late, late, late!   

Okay, let's review.  
Late Jan.: we made the decision to buy an older RV and move to ABQ.   I wanted to be out of here by April 1st because I was hoping to get down there for teacher-hiring season.  There's usually a short window of time in which teachers get hired, and I figured it would be much easier to get a job in New Mexico if we were actually in New Mexico.  

Late Feb: BIG snow, then we had to wait a few weeks to find out whether or not I needed surgery.  Turns out I did, as you know, and the surgery was on March 31st.  Clearly we weren't going to make that April 1st deadline.  Surgery went well, and we hoped to have our garage sale April 17th & 18th.  

April 10: I then hurt my back, and now we're hoping to have the sale the week of April 24th & 25th.  As soon as we get rid of all of our stuff and pack up the RV, we're gone.   I'm still only at about 50% usefulness, and oh - did I mention it's supposed to pour the 24th & 25th just in time for our garage sale? 


Someday we're going to look back on this and laugh... I just know it!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Why Albuquerque?

If you've spent most of your life in New Jersey, Atlanta, and Pennsylvania, why in the world would you decide to move to Albuquerque, New Mexico?  Especially when we've never been there?


Are we just crazy?


Perhaps!   It was a long decision-making process.  As it dawned on us that relocating would be our best bet for a productive, work-filled life, we spent a lot of time talking about where we would want to go if we could pick any place in the Continental U.S.  Our priorities were: weather, cost-of-living, unemployment, ease of getting certified to teach, and finding a place with the right vibe for us.  We looked at everything.  Here is a (very) brief summary of our process.


J. said he was tired of years of shoveling snow, so that immediately eliminated large swaths of the country.  Plus, living in an RV is much better suited to milder climates, I'm thinking!

Pacific Northwest?  Too rainy - although mild climate is nice!  Unemployment seems to be pretty high, at least in Portland.

Florida?  Too humid, high cost of living, low teacher pay.  Plus, it's Florida.  We've both spent so much time there.  Time for something new!


Atlanta?  I went to college there, but it seems too crowded to me now.  It's like living in New Jersey, only with less snow and funner accents.  I do have a lot of friends there, but I just can't go back again unless it's to visit.

I nixed Texas immediately.  Maybe I've seen Thelma & Louise too many times, but I just don't see myself living there.  


I made a push for Boulder, CO, but it snows too much for the husband.  People have often told me that I would love Boulder for it's 'crunchy' nature and outdoor sports, etc., but I couldn't convince the man.  Moving on!


Arizona's too dang hot - it's like Israel!  I don't care how 'dry' the heat is, 112 degrees is 112 degrees.  I can't do it!  I'll melt.  Plus, Phoenix is having issues with overcrowding and unemployment, etc.  


The last consideration was to find someplace with a Jewish community.  A decent sized Jewish community where I hopefully won't hear anti-Semitic remarks on a regular basis.  I have had issues with anti-Semitism up here in the Poconos, and it stings.  During my 2 years of subbing I have heard a lot of nasty comments from students concerning Jews, including a group of 8th graders playing not "Monkey In The Middle", but "Jew in The Middle".  What's up with that???   I know there are haters everywhere and there are amazing people everywhere too, here included, but I wanted to have a better chance of not having to break up another one of those games.  So we looked for a relatively large city where there are many different kinds of people.  At least everyone can hate everyone else equally!  :D


Well, Albuquerque fits the bill in many ways.  The cost of living is fairly low and teacher-pay is respectable.  Also, New Mexico must need teachers because the process of getting certified could not have been easier!  Thank you New Mexico for recognizing my previous accomplishments without making me prove myself over and over again!  


Have I mentioned that they have 310 days of sunshine per year???  That's my favorite thing about ABQ so far!  It's high desert (5,000 ft. above sea level) so it's not as hot as Arizona, and they actually have winter, but not much snow unless you drive to it in the mountains!  There are teaching jobs, and a blossoming solar-energy industry which J. is interested in.  It's supposed to be beautiful and has a laid-back vibe.  Also, it's been listed as a top 10 city to live in the U.S., and has great biking and hiking.    

Plus, as J. says, if we hate it and things aren't working out, we can always drive our house away and find somewhere else!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Do I Need This??!?

We bought an RV.  


An older one, that had been sitting in south Florida for 3 years.  


Can you say 'musty'?  


How about 'smelly'? 

Oh, and everything has a light green coating of fuzz!   J., my hubby, was so excited about it when he drove it home and into our yard.  It was really hard to put on a happy face when I first stepped inside it and the smell hit me like a basketball to the head - jarring, dizzying, and nauseating.  

"Isn't this great?"  J. said with the excitement of a boy getting his first dirt bike.  "Well, it's something!" was all I could say.  I sat on the off-white leather couch - hmmm, comfy.  I tried to imagine us living in this thing full-time, but the thought made my stomach lurch so I pushed that out of my mind and tried to breathe.  Uck, that smell!  This was not good.  He says I ruin everything he's excited about by my negativity, and I didn't want to do that this time around, but he knows me too well to be fooled by some false optimism.  

"I'll get used to it.  It'll take a while, but right now, this is the best I can do".   Honesty being the best policy, I figured I would have time to get excited about it for real.  In the meantime, we set about fixing it up - I washed every surface, drawer, and closet, eliminating the green fuzz, and he gave it a new bed frame.  We changed it from 2 twin beds to one queen-size platform.  He worked on various mechanical issues - it's a 1987, and even though it has a new engine and a new generator, there are a million little things that don't work and need attention.  Then we got 2 feet of snow.  That put us off our schedule - we were trying to leave by the beginning of April.  The snow melted, we got back to work on the RV, and then I found out I needed surgery.

Do I need this?  Someone came up with the saying "When it rains it pours" for a reason!  It's because it's true!  It turns out I had had an ectopic pregnancy and it had to be removed.  This was not a planned pregnancy, but it made us sad just the same.  We had created a baby, but it couldn't survive.  Don't ask me how we would have raised a newborn in an RV, but that's something to ponder another day.  I went into the hospital for same-day surgery last Tuesday, and all went well.  The doctor did it laporoscopically, meaning he only made 3 small incisions, but he said I had been bleeding into my belly and my fallopian tube was a mess, so he removed it.     I've never really had surgery before, so I was scared to death, but I made it through and am recovering nicely.  I got sick from the anesthesia and my doctor had me stay overnight.  Other than that, it went very well and the pain in my abdomen from the incisions gets a little better each day. 


As I've been convalescing, it made me think: how many stressors can one person have at any one time?  As many as you can handle, I suppose, but I really don't want to find out how many I can handle.  We don't have steady jobs, we're losing our house, we get calls from creditors all the time, we have to ration money for gas and  anything else we need, we have no health insurance, we have to sell most of our possessions as fast as we can, and on top of all that, I had to have surgery.  It's a lot to juggle.  


The one thing we do have is each other, and that's a lot.  J. took such good care of me in the hospital and after, and I have been able to be much more positive about the RV in recent weeks.  I have learned that 'things' don't matter, but people do.  As corny as it sounds, go and hug the people you care about, and be present when you're with those you love.  The love and support of each other, family and friends are what have kept us going.  That love will continue to sustain us, because that's all that really matters.  So when all these stressful things rear their ugly heads, I think about the amazing nurses who made me laugh and gave me pain meds; the friends and family we laughed with yesterday at the Easter lunch; and my friends who don't live close but are only a phone call away.  

So maybe i did need all this, to show me what's really important.  I thought I knew, but now I really get it.  I hope all of you do, too!


We're hoping to be outta here in 2 to 3 weeks, but we still have a lot to do to make that happen!